too big for any box

JJ Heller has a song called "Small" talking about the God we often try to create- a God that's comprehendable, a God that's containable, a God that's comfortable- but God is not pocket-sized and He isn't what I think He is! He's BIG. But that three letter word doesn't even begin to size Him up. There are no words. There are no definitions. There cannot be a "Sunday School answer." (see Isaiah 40:6-31)

But I often carry Him around in my little "God-box" and bring Him out like show-n'-tell when I expect Him to do something beyond myself. But truth be known, every breath and every task, each and every day is God-sized, it's all beyond me! I'm not capable in my own strength. Why don't I have a God-sized God? What gets into me to make me think that I can do anything for myself? Wouldn't it be crazy sweet if I lived like my God was too big for any box? What if we all did?

I'm glad God is bigger than I will ever comprehend. I'm glad His power is greater. I'm glad He is completely sovereign. I'm glad He doesn't need me. I'm glad I'm not the center of His world. But I pray that He will be the center of mine. I pray that He'll constantly awe me and wow me and remind me that I will never understand. I will never comprehend.

Anyway, here's the song I mentioned earlier:

Cardboard cutouts on the floor

People wish that you were more

like what they wanted you to be

Eventually they won’t have much of you

at all in their theology

The walls are closing in on you

You cannot be contained at all

I don’t want to make you small

I don’t want to fit you in my pocket

A cross around my throat

You are brighter than the sun

You’re closer than the tiny thoughts I have of you

But I could never fathom you at all

Broken moldings all around

Broken people hit the ground

When they discover that you’re not here for our benefit

You love in spite of us

You use the least of us

to prove the strong aren’t really strong at all

in the midst of holy moments

I LOVE QUOTES! I'm in the process of going through some of my favorite books picking out some great quotes to decorate my bathroom at school with. I came across a few in a book I read at the beginning of summer that got my little head thinking. The book is entitled Thin Places by Mary DeMuth. It's a memoir about a woman who was dealt one lousy hand after another (figuratively speaking). The things that she has lived through and experienced don't even happen in my most frightening nightmares! And yet, in the midst of her circumstances she's sought to see God's handiwork. She's learned to trust His heart and His perfect plan. This is what she writes:

"God's fingerprints are everywhere- in the sacred intersection of melancholy and joy. Surely God is in the nooks and crannies of my life, stooping to earth to woo me.... I live in the midst of holy moments. I claw at the seams of life, questioning God's ways, seldom realizing that if I'd stop clawing, I would capture new glimpses of Him through the thin places. God woos me from behind the veil through the tragedies, beauties, suprises, simplicities, and snatches of my life I might overlook."

What beautiful thoughts! I was talking to a good friend a week ago about the ways that God uses trials in our lives to teach us. What I think I often forget is that life is full of divine opportunities to get to know God's heart and His character. He reveals Himself in all things, in all circumstances. Trials, troubles and tribulations all open the door for us to see God in a different light. This school year I want to see God for who He is. I want to know His character. I don't want to ask "why?" anymore, I want to ask "how can I know and reflect God in this situation?" I know that I will be tested and tried, but those things only work on my behalf- establishing patience, perseverance, and perfection (James 2). I'm going into this school year on the prowl for sacred intersections, for holy moments, and for thin places. I want to see God! The end of Job is pretty sweet. Job 42:1-6 read "Then Job replied to the Lord: 'I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, "Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?" Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said "Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me." My ears had heard of you BUT NOW my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." After all was said and done- after Job had been tested and tried- THEN he saw God for who He was! Let it be so.

on the road marked with suffering

I love lyrics. God often uses the lyrics to a song to move me and teach me about who He is and how I can live accordingly. There were a lot of songs that got my attention this summer as I had opportunity to worship with God's people at camps. One stands out in my mind, however. "Blessed Be Your Name" got to me one morning. That song's been one of my favorites for a while, but it hit me square between the eyes this particular time. The lyrics are as follows:

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I think the line that gets me most is "Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering...and when the darkness closes in Lord, STILL I will say blessed be the name of the Lord." Sometimes I feel like lightning's about to strike, like I'm one step away from a trial that's gonna knock me off my rocker. It's easy to be grateful when "the sun's shining down on me and the world's all as it should be." But it's a totally different story when "we're found in the desert place" or when we "walk through the wilderness." As I stood there in chapel hearing these words, these declarations roll off my tongue, tears formed in my eyes. If all were stripped away and I was left with only God, would my response look anything like Job's? Would I fall on my face in worship and declare that God gives and takes away and His name is to be praised regardless? Worship requires something of us. Abraham understood that. In Genesis 22:5 where God calls Abraham to offer his only son Isaac on the altar, Abraham says something very interesting- "He said to his servants, 'Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.'" Abraham didn't know the end result, he didn't know that God would spare his son- but he acted in faith anyway. He recognized this call for sacrifice as a call to worship! Sacrifice is worship. Worship calls us to see all that we have and all that we are as a gift from God with which we've been entrusted. And when it's all said and done, it's all God's anyway. I must see things in the right perspective. So if the road I find myself on is marked with suffering, and if I'm called to bring a painful offering, and if I walk through the wilderness- I pray that I will respond as Job, "BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!"