while i'm waiting

I'm two weeks shy of being half way done with my senior year of college... it's so wierd! I'm in limbo. For the first time in my life I don't know what's next. People are beginning to ask me "so what's after graduation?" Appropriate question. My answer... "No clue." Is that irresponsible? Irrational? Immature? Maybe. But the way I see it, though I don't know what my future holds, I do know Who holds my future and that's a huge comfort. Not knowing much of anything is a bit unnerving, but at the same time it's exciting!

I am so thankful for the past three and a half years of my life. They've brought so many rich experiences that have shaped and prepared me for what's ahead, whatever that is. Of course, it hasn't all been jolly and good, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I've been able to see life and ministry from perspectives I wouldn't have otherwise known. Coming into my freshman year of college all I had were a bunch of lofty goals and little true-to-life experience... but God has blessed in so many ways since that first awkward year. God allowed me the life-changing opportunity to travel on two camp teams. Ministering at camps taught me what it means to spend and be spent. It opened my eyes to people and the nature of discipleship. It helped me to get out of my shell and do hard things. So many lessons!

This year it has been so much fun jumping in with the youth group for my senior internship. I'm looking forward to teaching a series to the girls in January. Along the way I've become all the more grateful for my youth leaders from junior high and high school when I was an impressionable teen. I had no idea what went into youth ministry! But it's still a blast. It's crazy to think that I sit among future leaders with tons of potential when I sit in that youth room. They're so impressionable and I firmly believe ministering to them is one of the most vital ministries in the church! (Sorry for the soap box.)

As of Thanksgiving day, I found out that I have a chance to be a part of the South Africa team this summer. The team takes off in like 170 days or something... which, by the way, seems like 800 light years away! I can't wait! I can't wait to watch God work in all of those details that seem so insurmountable at this stage in the game. I can't wait to see the world the way God does. I can't wait to see the broken people of SA the way God does. It's all pretty 'citing!

So to bring this entry full circle... I can't lay out my life for you, and I don't know for sure what my future will look like; but I'm not worried. I'm trusting the Lord to arrange the pieces of this puzzle. He's given me a full life thus far with more blessings and opportunities than I could name, so I figure He's pretty trustworthy. I firmly believe that God will establish His perfect plan as I align my passions and desires with His. Psalm 37:5, 23 say "Commit your way to the LORD, trust in Him and He will do this... The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him." I'm not boasting in tomorrow, today has its own concerns. In the mean time, I'm taking my cues from James 4- taking it one day at a time, doing the good I know I ought to do.

There's a great song that comes to mind in closing- it's John Waller's WHILE I'M WAITING. A few of its lines are really fitting: "I will move ahead bold and confident, Taking every step in obedience. While I'm waiting, I will serve you. While I'm waiting, I will worship..." Love it.