when God applauds

I'm convinced that God is always working thematically in my life. You know, when every sermon you hear seems to drive home the same point? For me lately it's this area of PRIDE. Handy, I s'pose, since all sin really boils down to that anyway... but none the less. The youth group just started a new series in Sunday School based on CJ Mahaney's little book Humility: True Greatness. I think it's going to kick me in the face... repeatedly.

In my 22 1/2 years on this planet I've managed to get really good at the pride thing. Actually I think I was born pretty good at it (is that prideful?). Sometimes it's pretty obvious- the nose-in-the-air, I'm-better-than-you-because... attitude. Or the "hey, have you heard how great I am lately?" conversation. Or "hey, did you know that I am crazy spiritual!?" Or when I start to talk about the terrible trinity- I, Me, and My, more than anything/anyone else. But other times it's not so obvious. Sometimes it's well disguised. In fact, sometimes the ugliest kind of pride looks like humility. This kind is more sneaky- others might not even catch on. It could be going out of my way to serve in some way as if I'm just a humble servant-person... and all the while hoping in the back of my heart that somebody's taking note. Or... it could be denying and deflecting others' compliments or kind remarks. For the longest time I didn't even realize that was pride! Ha ha, truthfully, the first time I really remember being confronted with this truth was when Carey Nilius was doing my hair for Jr/Sr my senior year. She gave me some sort of compliment or something that I tried to ignore which turned into a golden opportunity for rebuke. I so needed that, though, and I've never forgotten that conversation either! Who knew an Eeyore "whoa is me" attitude is prideful? But it is... and it's ugly!

[Wanna hear a funny story? OK!] When I was in Junior High, I remember for Bible class each week we did a unit on a different character trait that we should be growing/acquiring as Christians. One particular week the unit was on "humility." [True story, mind you.] I remember wanting so badly to impress Mr. Lane with my skill in humility. So during activity period I was shooting hoops and thinking... "how can I look REALLY humble playing basketball?" DING! DING! DING! "I know! Every time I miss a basket  I will just hang my head in shame. And if I make it, I'll still hang my head and shame... that way, I'll look like I'm super humble!" Pathetic right? Yeah, tell me about it.

I was reminded last Sunday that humility is really just having an accurate understanding of self. Accurate is key though. John Calvin wrote, "It is evident that man never attains to a true self-knowledge until he has previously contemplated the face of God, and come down after such contemplation to look into himself." Similarly, Mahaney says "Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God's holiness and our sinfulness." That's it. It's that simple! There is no room for pride in a world where God is truly exalted as God. But I guess that's why Heaven is Heaven. Think about it. Essentially, pride is just measuring yourself against the standard of everybody else. If we assess ourselves this way, we always come out on top because we can always find somebody who's worse than we are. But what if man is not the standard? What if God is the standard? If God is the standard, NO ONE measures up! His standard is perfect holiness and righteousness and sinlessness. But we don't like to think this way because then we feel small and insignificant. But true significance comes when God applauds.

"Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.

For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved,

but the one whom the Lord commends." 

2 Corinthians 10:17-18