where healing begins

Ever become overwhelmed with the realization that you're a crappier person than you thought you were? It's an unsettling thing! It's funny though, we try so hard to hide it. We do everything we possibly can do in order to mask the fact that we're terrible people... as if others haven't picked up on it. We're so scared someone might see us for what we are. I wonder though... what if we were real people? What if everybody were REAL/ TRANSPARENT/ GENUINE/ FLAWED? Wouldn't it be beautiful!? I heard a quote that interupts my train of thought sometimes- "The best thing that could happen to us would be for our sins to be literally exposed on the 5 o' clock news- our deepest, darkest, most embarassing sin, the ones we work the hardest to hide..." (Derek Webb). Isn't that like a sucker punch to the gut!? What if it happened? What if the whole world saw me for what I am?

A couple weeks ago I was reminded that I have SO FAR TO GO and it was overwhelming and to a degree, discouraging. But I think what was hardest was not the sin itself but the fact that somebody else exposed it. But this is where healing begins. Think about it. People go to the doctor to find out what's wrong so they can fix it, right? Most sick people don't go to the doctor hoping to stay sick forever- we want to be healed, we want to be well. So why then, in reality, do we try so hard to stay sick? to hide our sin?

I'm reminded of the Pharisees of Jesus' day. Matthew 23 records Jesus' woes and warnings for the Pharisees. In verse 27 Christ referred to the Pharisees as "white washed tombs." Apparently, during Jewish feasts etc. the tombs would be cleaned and white-washed on the outside so they looked better for the public eye. Yet the inside were full of death, decay, and disgustingness. But who can blame them? We do the same thing. It's just like making the bed and stuffing everything underneath... or sweeping a mess into a pile and throwing a rug over top of it... or putting dirty dishes in the fridge/stove/cubbard. It's not our definition of "clean" that counts- it's gotta be Christ's. Oh how we I need to be exposed again and again! Tenth Avenue North has a great song entitled "Healing Begins" - check out (some of) the lyrics!

So you thought you had to keep this up

All the work that you do

So we think that you're good

And you can't believe it's not enough

All the walls you built up

Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now

This is where the healing begins

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out

Everything that you hide

Can come crashing through the door now

But too scared to face all your fear

So you hide but you find

That the shame won't disappear

Sparks will fly as grace collides

With the dark inside of us

So please don't fight

This coming light

Let this blood come cover us

His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark 

If any of this resonated with you, I'd challenge you to look up Psalm 51 and meditate on its truth; let David's prayer be yours! Be cleansed from the inside out. Enter into relationships without reservation- let people see you for who you are- failures and all (James 5:16). THIS is where the healing begins. Let the walls fall; there's healing in that sound!

AS IS, grace